016: From breathless to boundless: transforming creative fear into flow
Why the rhythms of creativity are like breathing
Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide.
— D.W. Winnicott
These words from British psychoanalyst Winnicott capture the exquisite paradox at the heart of creative endeavour.
Creativity—all creativity, whether or not we consider ourselves to be 'artists’—has a rhythm that’s like breathing. There’s a gathering in, then a release: an inhalation that happens in private and an exhalation that expresses on the outside.
But do you ever feel that moment sometimes, just before you share an idea, when your voice catches in your throat? It’s the pause between breath and speech where possibility hangs suspended; when your lungs feel full but your voice stays silent.
The sacred chamber of the inhale
The beginning of any creative process is like taking a deep breath: drawing in inspiration, impressions and insights. This inhalation is unseen by others. It gathers what we need before expression even becomes possible.
Our resistance to sharing what’s on the inside isn't laziness, although sometimes—in our ‘failure’ to speak or express—we might judge ourselves as lazy. This pause is the fullness of breath before our voice emerges. Without this gathering, this protected moment of receiving, there'd be nothing to release, nothing to express.
When we create from the depth of this innerspace, we're transforming our breath into voice, our private understanding into shared sound. We make audible the invisible movements of our inner world.
No wonder it feels exposing.
Fear of judgement produces breathlessness. Every potential criticism feels like a stolen breath, when the natural rhythm of inhalation and exhalation is interrupted and our creative expression constricted.
For me, this constriction has been both literal and metaphorical. As a young child, I was hospitalised for asthma and for years relied on medication to regulate my breathing. On so many occasions—triggered by dust or damp or over-exertion—I fought for breath, cursing the tightness of my airways. I tried everything: yoga, breath work, acupuncture. None of them worked.
Fast forward eight years and now I’m drug-free. The wheezing and shortness of breath belong to a different lifetime.
There’s been no miraculous medical cure. But it has felt like a miracle, one rooted in the psyche as much as the body. The road to this cure was long and challenging and yet, also, simple. It came from recognising and accepting how much I held back my expression. I don’t just mean in my writing (though that certainly was affected). It was more all-encompassing. It happened when I finally embracing the right to take up space, to tune into and speak my needs, to convey the truth of who I am—and realise what it was costing me not to.
Tension as a resource for creation
A desire to hold your breath isn't weakness.
Fears around self-expression make complete sense. Once voiced, you know that expression will travel beyond your control. There’s the risk others will interpret your message through their own filter, perhaps finding meanings you never intended, or missing the inflections you so carefully inserted.
What if this tension isn't a problem to resolve but the physiology of creativity itself?
What if Winnicott’s observation describes not a problem but the necessary conditions for meaningful expression?
The dance between inhalation and exhalation creates dynamic movement. From this rhythm emerges the voice that will carry the truth of your meaning. Without the private gathering of breath, will your voice hold power? Without the possibility of voice, will your breath alone seem sufficient?
Perhaps the creators who move us most profoundly aren't those who've ‘conquered’ breathlessness, but have learned to respect this respiratory pattern. They understand that creation requires both the private moment of inhale and the vulnerable moment of exhale, transforming tension into resonance rather than restriction.
Practices to support vocalisation
Stepping into creative visibility requires practices that embrace both the desire to communicate and the need for protected inspiration.
You could try:
creating conscious breathing spaces in your schedule: allowing for moments of gathering before the moments of expression
distinguishing when you inhale naturally and where you habitually hold the breath that limits your voice
practising making sound without controlling how others receive your voice. Start with humming then experiment with full vocalisation, gradually extending your range as it feels more comfortable. Or sing. Sing while you’re driving. Sing in the shower.
remembering that your unique voice is precisely what makes your contribution valuable.
Imagine waking without that familiar tightening in your throat. Your days are infused with creative work on the projects you’ve previously abandoned. Those projects still present a challenge but they’ve lost the power to paralyse you. They no longer drain the vibrant energy of your creativity and you can complete them in months instead of them stretching endlessly across years.
Deadlines become not a threat but keepers of the rhythm: the drumbeats that support your creative dance.
It’s as simple as remembering how to breathe. And the difference is like inhabiting colour after years of living in black and white.
Community inspiration
It takes courage to step up and express yourself—in whatever format. This week, I’ve been particularly inspired by a couple of people here on Substack who are doing just that.
I’m consistently inspired by GG Renee Hill’s Writing the Layers, and the many ways in which GG supports creatives and seekers. And: big news! GG has a new book coming out—with the wonderful title Story Work: Field Notes on Self-Discovery and Reclaiming Your Narrative. In it, she ‘invites readers to the transformative practice of creative self-discovery through storytelling—treating our life experiences as creative material that we have the power to shape.’ Truly inspirational stuff (and it’s available for pre-order now!)
In Dots Connect, Maghan Haggerty has begun to share extracts from her personal journal reflections, ‘Notes on Self.’ Her writing, as she puts it, explores ‘how conversations with a past version of me are helping me process my present and shape my future.’ I find this such a courageous act—and the writing is beautiful.
Creative inspiration
Books on the topic:
Atomic Habits by James Clear provides practical frameworks to set up sustainable creative rhythms that respect the fundamental rhythm of creativity: the need for private development and public sharing.
The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin. What I love about Rubin’s book is that it frames creativity as a fundamental aspect of human existence, something we're all naturally equipped for.
Listen to:
TED Radio Hour Episodes on Creativity. I’m a particular fan of the episode The Act of Listening, which explores how deep listening is crucial to creativity. It features sound artist Julian Treasure discussing how we can train ourselves to listen more deeply—both to others and to our own creative impulses before expressing them.
Memorable quote of the week:
Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open.
— Stephen King
Yours in creative courage,
Rachel
What’s next?
I work with professionals caught between the desire to express themselves and the fear of being heard. Together, we'll create the conditions for your natural creative rhythm to emerge—honouring both your need for private inspiration and your yearning for meaningful expression.
Here’s how I can help:
Make an appointment for a virtual coffee (free). I hold 3-4 slots every month for a 20 minute chat so we can get to know each other. Perfect if you’re curious about meeting people and making new connections.
Book a 30-minute connection call (free). This is for anyone—whether you have an idea you want to brainstorm, an issue that’s holding you back, or just want to know about me and/or my work. Think of it as a micro-dose of powerful connection that will help point you in the right direction!
Read my manifesto for creative courage (free). Learn about the core principles of my creativity and follow in serial form the story of how I came to found Wordplay Coaching.
Inquiry of Writing, an intimate group coaching experience. We meet twice a month in sessions where we use writing as a tool for curiosity, exploration and transformation. Respond to powerful questions, in discussion and in writing; share your experience; get feedback on what you’ve written. Get the support and connection you need to gain clarity about your life and creativity, and develop your confidence. This is currently full but talk to me about joining the waiting list.
Creative Essence 1:1 coaching. Personal guidance to work with you on recognising your survival mechanisms and the fears that hold you back from your full expression. Twice-monthly deep dives on Zoom plus unlimited individualised support between sessions. This is ideal for you if you’re looking for deep transformation and powerful support to make changes in your life or with a creative project.
That’s amazing that you’ve been able to get free of asthma meds! Well done. I like this way of thinking about writing and breathing. I will try it!